How to Choose Your Wedding Party
Choosing who to include in your wedding party and how many can be a daunting task. Here are a few fun & helpful tips we have found to help from our years of experiences planning weddings. But, in the end, go with your gut! 🙂
SELECT FROM A VARIETY OF TIMES IN YOUR LIFE
If you are still close to someone from your childhood, chances are good you will be for many years to come, so they are an ideal choice. Selecting close friends from high school or college are also perfect, especially if you still chat a lot. A coworker you love to see outside of work & connect with on more than a complaining-about-the-boss level is also a great candidate!
CHOOSE SOMEONE RELIABLE & RESPONSIBLE
You will likely want your bridesmaids to come with you for special events such as wedding dress shopping, fittings, and more. Don’t choose someone to be your Maid of Honor or Best Man who is notoriously late or tend to not show up. You’ll be left feeling bad, they’ll feel guilt, and it’ll create tension in your friendship.
GO FOR LESS DRAMA
If you absolutely know that your best friend from Algebra club in high school is going to get out of control the night before the wedding and will show up hungover or not at all, perhaps inviting them to the wedding is enough.
REMEMBER, BE CONSIDERATE & UNDERSTANDING
If you ask someone to be in your wedding party and they politely decline remember how much of a commitment being a bridesmaid or groomsman is. Both financially as well as a time commitment. Sometimes a friend may have to kindly turn down your invitation. It doesn’t mean that they don’t love you or aren’t happy for you. If they have children, are in school, live out of state, or are planning their own wedding they simply may not have the means by which to commit to everything. Try to understand and respect that they really are thinking in your best interest because they don’t want to disappoint you.
BONUS POINTS IF THEY HAVE BEEN IN A WEDDING BEFORE
This can have major benefits because they have any idea of what is expected of them already. They tend to better understand time commitments throughout the months leading up to the wedding and the importance of being on time on the wedding day. And they can also help newbies in the party that have never had bridesmaid or groomsman duties before.
GIVEBACKS IS NOT A THING
Just because you were in someone’s wedding does not mean you have to ask them to be in yours. If you were in a friends wedding 8 years ago, that absolutely does not mean you need to ask them to be in yours. Especially if during those 8 years you have grown apart.
DON’T FORGET FAMILY!
Brothers & Sisters are always a great idea! They are family, obviously you want them to be a part of your wedding day. Mahlia had Pat’s sister, Kim, as one of her bridesmaids! If they are a little younger and aren’t quite right for a full groomsman duties, ask them to be an Usher or a Junior Bridesmaid.
OH, RIGHT, GIFTS
Remember, it is customary to give thank you gifts to your wedding party during the rehearsal dinner. It may be great to want 30 Bridesmaids & Groomsmen, but is that the best option for you? Plus, the more people you add the more difficult it is to coordinate making sure everyone is on time for the showers, rehearsal, parties, wedding day, and other important events.
WHO MADE UP THAT RULE?
There is no rule that says only 1 Best Man & Maid of Honor. You can absolutely have 2!! It’s your wedding. So if you want your sister & best friend to both be your Maid of Honor, go for it! No one is going to stop you! Plus, then there is someone to share the responsibilities of planning the bridal shower, bachelor party, and organizing the rest of the wedding party.
MOST OF ALL, TAKE A MOMENT TO THINK.
Once you’ve asked someone to be a part of your wedding party, you can’t exactly un-ask them. We recommend writing out your list, waiting a few weeks, then writing your list again. Afterwards, go back and compare the two. You may be surprised that you have different people written down on each list. The ones that overlap are probably your best choices.